[E–pub Download] Twilight

Able It not ust a fun read There are girls out there who want to be Bella and who to find an EdwardAnywayI think want to be Bella and who want to find an EdwardAnywayI think might enjoy the story a lot if Bella s head was not the one I had to spend time in while reading it If I had to read one description of how beautiful Edward is I was going to choke a kitten If it had focused on the vampire family I would have been a lot willing to forgive its faults I thought Carlisle s and Alice s stories were really compelling and Edward was finally accessible to me when he talked about Carlisle turning him into a vampire and how his family came to be formed his life before Bella etc Some aspects of the vampirism were truly awesome I found the idea that vampires can never sleep completely terrifying That they never ever get a break and never ever get to rest that is a wonderful and ghastly ideaEntirely overshadowed by their flowery breath and the fact that they sparkle Mothereffing ridiculousThis is hardly the tip of the iceberg but I m trying to spare you at least a little Actual rating 15 stars Believe it or not there are actually a few books that are worse than TwilightOk funny story I was sitting on my couch with my husband last night finishing up Twilight I slammed the book shut and began rubbing my temples Then my husband goes So you finally finished huh Yes I can t believe I used to like this book I said Hahaha Yeah I remember you were on Twilight s balls hard Yeah yeah yeahThere isn t a single book on my shelf that has fluctuated between all ratings besides Twilight No your eyes do not deceive you I actually have read Twilight 4 times I used to hail from Shelfaricom and the first rating I ever gave Twilight was 5 stars After I made the switch to GoodReads I decided to give it 4 stars instead So recently I was browsing my GoodReads shelf I often do that to clean up ratings I noticed Twilight was sitting pretty at 4 stars and was on my favorites shelf At the time I thought Wow that s not accurate at all Maybe it deserves 3 stars But I uickly decided no no noI ll ust do a fun little project and re read the series and give them all better ratings If your curious about the details of the project stop on over here Project Hindsight And hey if you like what you see won t you subscribe Yes end shameless self promotion The coolest thing about re reading Twilight is that it has caused me to create really cool new shelves such asKill me now Idiot heroine This is not literature And my personal favorite Where s my chocolate One of the first things I noticed during this re read was how incredibly boring it was Bella is dull as a doorknob And the first few chapters of the book are essentially a Bitch Moan Complain session So we have Bella moving to Forks WA because she wants her mother to be happy on that later And she s all like Ohhhh I hate this place It s green Ewww it s wet Fuck my life And what s one of the first things Bella does when she arrives in Forks She cooks Charlie dinner No I don t have an issue with a female character enjoying cooking but it is practically thrown in my face that Charlie can t fend for himself Bella has to cook Well what the hell was he doing before she arrived Oh ya did anyone else realize that despite the fact that she says she is not allowed to call Charlie by his first name she almost always calls him Charlie WTF Bella goes to school and during lunch she first cast her eyes on the Cullen family view spoiler hide spoile. Sted for my bloodAnd third I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with hi. Because I was fervently hoping it would have significance Like she would spectacularly Choke On Her Oatmeal on her oatmeal next day and think AH I should have had a granola bar like yesterdayShow don t tell is not the be all and end all of writing There s a little thing called summary narrative It s beautiful it facilitates plot progression without having to follow your narrator through 24 fucking hours of a day and watch as she eats a fucking granola bar for breakfastI ve seen t I hate this book I will probably end up reading the rest of them because if I don t people that love this thing will think they can convert me if I ust keep reading ETA Jan 2013 Never even remotely bothered to finish the series I said That As A Joke To Begin With as a We Sell Drugs joke to begin with I did not finish the series Did not finish them not for irony s sake or for amusement s sake or as some kind of amulet to ward off kind hearted Twimoms that would encourage me with they get better I hope that clears that up for some folks that seem to have had a tough time with I did not finish them One last time for posterity I can pretty much be defined as a Person That Would Be Caught Dead in a Dumpster Before Reading the Rest of These Damn Books So long as we re all clear on that now ONWARDIn short the writing mechanics are atrocious The dialogue is stilted and absolutely wretched The characterization is bad looseumpy and the progression is occasionally senseless The main characters themselves are not compelling selfish shallow lacking the deep thought that comes with true passion and love and instead leaping recklessly into stupid and deadly situations when anyone with a brain could see sixty other possibilities that should have been tried firstI can t express my disgust for the relationship between Edward and Bella It s not romance it s not passion it s not love It s selfish idiocy at best Bella as a character is insufferable her self sacrificing streak is not compassion it s sheer stupidity It s Hormones It S A Bad Bad Example For The Teenage It s a bad bad example for the teenage who read it Bella s whole life is tied up in her boyfriend She has no goals passions ambitions or dreams besides wanting to be with Edward who could kill herEdward s element of danger is occasionally compelling but it s totally overshadowed by the fact that Bella is completely oblivious to it She doesn t fear him at all and that doesn t come off like love once again it comes off as total stupidityEdward What can I say about Edward There is nothing lovable about him except that he is apparently the most beautiful thing in existence He s selfish he stays near Bella when he knows he could lose control and kill her at any second He s a creepy stalker he watches her while she sleeps before she even really knows him He s volatile his mood swings are insane and ridiculous He s immature for someone who s been alive for a hundred years he doesn t seem to have gained much experience He s controlling he doesn t want to let her out of his sight for two seconds Granted she s dumb enough to get herself killed if he does He s insulting he treats Bella like an incapable silly little girl Which he s right to but I digress It s still insultingI understand that Bella s smell and that Bella herself are irresistible to him But if he wanted the best for her he d stay away from her period the end The story is stupid the love story is bad and if that s what Stephenie Meyer is preaching to teenage girls I think it s pretty uestion. Re was a part of him and I didn't know how dominant that part might be that thir. Save your time here s the entirety of Twilight in 20 dialogue snippets a wiggedy wack intermissionFirst 200 pagesI like you EdwardYou shouldn t I m dangerousI like you EdwardBut I m dangerousNext 50 pagesI m a vampireI like you EdwardBut I m a vampire I m dangerousI like you EdwardNext 100 pagesI like you EdwardYou smell good Bella I m dangerousI like you EdwardDamn you smell goodI like you EdwardAlso I glow in sunlightNext 50 PagesA VAMPIRE BASEBALL GAMEI Wish VAMPIRE BASEBALL GAMEI wish was kiddingLast 100 pagesHelp me Edward I m being chasedI ll save youHelp me Edward I m scaredI ll save youOh EdwardYou smell goodOne half star for lack of uality

And One Half Star For 
one half star for unintentionally hilarious especially page 314 Ohhh yeah I made a BookTube Video all about my scandalously unpopular twilight opinions check out the video to see itif you dareAnyway onwards to the review So my review might be a bit biasedThis was my first and only major episode of fangirling I owned a tshirt vegetarian vampire so edgy I saw the first movie an embarrassingly high number of times in theater I Problem Solving in Data Structures Algorithms Using C++ judged people based off of Team Edward or Team Jacob for the record Edward in the books Jacob in the moviesEven now than 10 years later I still absolutely adore this first book there s too many good feelings I tried so so hard to look at this book with my sophisticated grown up eyes to see past all the trite plotholes and develop a good sound hatred of Twilight Iust can t I live for this series So ust keep in mind where I am coming from when I decided to reread this one My overwhelming realization Bella should probably be hospitalized There is no way she doesn t have some inner ear or traumatic brain injury There is no physically relevant way a seventeen year old could be that unbalanced It defies all logic It s relevant way a seventeen year old could be that unbalanced It defies all logic It s every time I turned the page there d she go Falling Again You really should stay away from me The other overwhelming realization Rosalie was the voice of reason I remember absolutely hating her because she was the only one who stood between Edward and Bella How dare she not love that they re in love Well now that I m older it s of YOU RE ONLY SEVENTEEN AND HE S A HUNDRED YEARS OLDER Team Rosalie the voice of reason all the wayDespite everything the cheesy uotes the terribly unrealistic portrayal of love and the big sparkling plot holes I can t help it I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with himMe falling in love with this book all over again Ps Still got that 10 yr old vegetarian vampire shirt in the back of my closetPchokengtitiktitikchokengs yes That s my original Twilight copy literally worn away from my multiple rereadsAudiobook CommentsWell read by Ilyana Kadushin though I wish the guy voices were a bit distinct when the girl reader said them They were all ust slightly deeper version of girl voices Not much variation in toneinflection The 2018 PopSugar Reading Challenge A book made into a movie you ve already seenYouTube Blog Instagram Twitter Snapchat mirandareads I really enjoy lively details There s nothing better than knowing an author has really thought about her characters and situations and come up with some surprising and delightful detail that makes the whole reading experience fuller Lively details you understand pointless details are a nightmare to read I don t need to know that Bella ate a granola bar for breakfast I REALLY DON T Notice that I remembered the granola bar I think this is partly. About three things I was absolutely positiveFirst Edward was a vampireSecond the.

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